The Kaotik Holiday Rules by Pana Diva & Limer | kaotik1's Blog

 As many of us prepare to spend our holiday season with family and friends it is important to remember the basic rules of a Caribbean Holiday:

1) Don't come empty handed 

Plenty people forget this rule and get chat about long after the holiday done. If you cook a big pot or just bring a bouquet, be certain to greet hosts with something.

2) Re-gifting is WRONG

Same way yuh ain want the lil stink looking fuzz riddled sweater Auntie Joan give unnu last year ( cuz EVERYONE have a Auntie Joan) doh set yuhself to pass it on to someone else.

3) Mind yuhself around Granny/Tants

Depending on how old (or fresh) Granny/ Tantie is, she has earned the right to say whatever she feels long time. That privilege is NOT extended to allyuh, so doh get cute and try it. Also, laughing aloud at Granny’s commentary on people food, clothing, or children is frowned upon by others.

4) Don’t drink anything you don’t mix yourself

This is especially for people going home for to the Caribbean for the holidays. Unless yuh a stone alcoholic it is likely whatever yuh cousins dem drinking is something overproof yuh azz have never before tasted. Try your hardest not to spend the holiday with your belly knocking yuh throat to show yuh can hang.

5) If you not cooking, don’t park up in the kitchen

This bears no explanation as many have felt the searing cuss, or wooden spoon, that accompanies not obeying this rule.

6) You are at home, not the Holiday Inn

There is no room service, maids, or desk agent here to appease yuh. In a full house expect one towel, a few cold showers, and plenty noise. If yuh cannot remember this, tek a moment to research the nearest hotel to yuh family’s abode.

7) Pack up yuh piece of cake the first chance yuh get

Yuh forget this one and yuh are on yuh own. Don't wait for nobody to save yuh no cake, tart, pone, or any other food item. Pack it up and hide it in a good place or yuh salt.

The holidays are a time of cheer and good times. Love the people you are with and never take for granted that many people didn’t make it through the year to be with their loved ones or that tomorrow isn't promised. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from Pana Diva, Limer and the rest of the DK Family!! We will see you for more Kaotik news, notes and jokes in the New Year.